More on the pill-stashing. Apparently is mostly valid. Over this last weekend my father ended up in the ER with a giant kidney stone, emergency surgery, and then another follow-up surgery. Sooo...I guess if you have a history of kidney stones it's okay to put a Lortab or two of your daughter's in the occasional pair of pants. Just in case.
My mother is another quirky one. Who refuses to believe she's in old age. Got all sorts of offended at the post in which I mentioned my "elderly" parents. Pure statistics people. Given average life-span, you're past middle-age, which is old age, which equals elderly. Let your ego go free. It's okay to be an ego-nudist, when the alternative is an ego-hoarder.
(not sure that analogy made sense, but I'm a headcold and a glass of wine past bed time, so fuck it.)
So yeah. The most interesting thing about living with my mother is her prattling. Yep, like a two year old (there, mom, I reinstated your youth for you) wandering around the house at her daily business talking away. To....who the FUCK knows. An example of her monologous conversation:
"Where's my doo-lolly [sic]? I think I left it....I swear it was...okay...now...now then...if I'm gonna make eggs, how much pepper should I....Did Gordon [my father] put the hand-mixer in....there?...no....where....I wonder what I have scheduled for the....OH MY GOSH THIS PHOTO IS ADORABLE...[gasp] and there's a video! [plays video approximately 30 times]..Annie Gordon you guys have to come see this... ... ... Oh my. Oh my my my my my. ANNIE COME SEE THIS--this photo is why people say your daughter is beautiful. tsk. tsk. It's so unfortunate when people have ugly babies."
The thing is, my mom has gloriously embraced her role as grandmother. And loves to get in touch with all her grandmother friends and compare her granddaughter's beauty, wit, charm, and intelligence to other infants she quasi-knows through facebook. And the kicker is she says EVERY thought process OUT LOUD. Which means I know a good deal more about information that's usually protected by HIPAA than is palatable. But whatever, I also get poop on my hand/harm/hair/clothing at least once a day changing a dirty diaper. Such is my life.
Also, I don't dress slutty. I just wear my shorts and a tank-top year-round in my house because my father keeps the temperature above 70 degrees in December. I think in July he sets it to 78. At least I get to show off my hairy legs.
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